The Wine Chick Talks Perspective

written by Agnès Peillet 19th January 2015


Sweet.’ ’Brilliant.’ ‘Elegant.’ ‘Fullbodied.’ ‘Exuberant.’ ‘Luscious.’ And my personal favourite—‘Complex.’ Have you noticed how adjectives used to describe wine are the same ones a man would choose to praise a woman?

Have you ever asked yourself: how come? How is it that when they had to come up with ways to describe this Happiness Potion, men – because let’s face it, it was most likely men, came up with words best suited to describe women?

That’s because they recognised that the scents, the flavours, the way it felt on their tongues and how it affected their brains reminded them of us, the most temperamental, fascinating, beautiful and maddening of all bipeds. Perhaps I am reading too much into this but here is my take on these lexical similarities.

Have you noticed how adjectives to describe wine are the same ones a man would choose to praise a woman? When talking about the kind of girl they can go shooting pool with or go fishing with, a guy will say: ‘She’s brilliant!” The brilliance that the guy is referring to is the clear, not cloudy or hazy way this low-maintenance type of woman thinks and acts. Straightforward, she is a no brainer. By the same token, a ‘Brilliant” wine is one whose colour is clear and unsurprising. It’s the table wine of wines.

When a guy says of a woman: ‘She is elegant’ or ‘balanced’ what he really means is that she’s boring. Same goes for an ‘Elegant’ red wine. Need I say more? “She is full-bodied.’ That one is easy. It’s an affectionate aphorism a guy uses to say a girl is big. She looks and feels heavy. Likewise, a ‘full-bodied’ or ‘round’ or ‘mouth filling’ wine feels heavy in the mouth because of its alcohol content. A heavy wine is the best for a dinner with friends.

When a guy refers to a woman as ‘Exuberant” he means that she is fun and fierce. Like a ripe blueberry, she’s juicy, bubbly and tasty. She leaves her mark and is hard to forget. An ‘Exuberant’ wine is fruity and intense. It’s the kind of wine that’s reserved for special occasions, first times and baptisms.

In a guy’s mind, a ‘luscious’ woman is alluring, sexy and seductive. It’s hard for a guy to resist this kind of woman and by the same token, wine. According to wine experts, a luscious wine has a mouthwatering and pleasantly rich taste. This is the kind of wine best suited for a sofa tête-àtête in front of the fire place. Wine it’s all about perspective

Last but not least, when guys talk of a ‘complex’ woman what they mean is that she is complicated, hard to describe and harder still to fathom. Every move she makes keeps a man watching. She is mysterious, self-assured and therefore fascinating. Same goes for a complex wine. It has intricate flavours and reveals itself slowly in the mouth. It doesn’t fear comparison because its second to none. A complex wine is the wine a man takes out when he wants to come off as a guy in charge when really he’s got no idea what the hell is going on.

What’s my point? Just that men, these sweet, generous, heady, pungent, obtuse and proud creatures are like wine too: impossible to live with or without.

You may also like

Leave a Comment