So you are probably asking yourself, ‘Is this some sort of new medical groundbreaking research?’ The answer is NO. It’s just good-old fashioned tried and tested fact. For those of you who have a kid and are in your first year in, the mere thought of procreating once again are the musings of the insane. Your family and friends, of course, never tire of asking about the second – probably because they don’t have to spend 24/7 in your shoes.
First came the penultimate moment when you found out that you were having a baby. The mild nausea, the slightly swollen breasts, the skipped period and then the pregnancy test with the 2 blue lines which ultimately told you that, YES, you are pregnant and NO this is not a figment of your imagination. Secondly comes the 9 ½ months where you live in dreamland and imagine that when your time is up, out comes a beautiful bouncing baby, which of course it does but we are fairly unprepared for what happens next. For most, the pregnancy is also a wonderful time where you are pampered, relatively calm and happy. Thanks to our wonderful hormones and an evolutionary predisposition called ‘nesting’ we also go into organizational overdrive and you will probably find yourself organizing your underwear drawer monochromatically.
Next, comes the baby. And all of a sudden the 3 things hit you simultaneously:
1. The burden of Ultimate Responsibility
You and your partner are now solely responsible for this little bundle of joy. For those of us who lived a fairly carefree existence before the baby, this fact will hit you like a ton of bricks. Embrace it though – responsibility can be a wonderful thing – especially for those of us who could just barely look after ourselves before bubba came
2. Your life before the baby is now a parallel universe
Your life as you knew it has metamorphosed into something fairly unrecognizable and as a result, so have you. Going to the cinema and quiet romantic dinners will now become a thing of the past. The upside is that this will get better and you will probably find yourself investing more of your time in catching a film at home and cooking simple dinners to enjoy the peace and quiet at home… once bubba has gone to bed.
3. Less “me” time – sacrifices, sacrifices and more sacrifices
You have less time for yourself and even less time for your partner – emotionally and sexually. This is not the end of the world…trust me, if your relationship can survive the first year it probably can withstand the Rapture.
For those of you who think me fickle and a scare monger, I speak the absolute truth but please note that having the first child is most certainly not a full proof form of contraception. You’ll soon forget the trauma of the first year – I’ve got 2 and I still get occasionally broody for a third. The upside is that your child gives you new-found purpose in life and believe me – you wouldn’t change it for a thing.